I know what you’re thinking.
From the title of this post, you’re wondering if I’ve actually, finally lost my mind.
Because there are just some things (like infertility) that just can’t have a bright side, right?
Well… you’re kind of right…..infertility and pregnancy loss are definitely the opposite of good.
But hear me out…
In my quest for positivity and mental wellness, I’ve learned that I have to be grateful for each and every stage of my life.
Including this tedious and unpleasant fertility journey.
As a Christian, I also believe that despite the gut wrenching pain and disappointment of this TTC Journey, there are reasons I’m going through all of this and in the end, it will be for good.
With those 2 things in mind, I feel like it’s my duty to identify the bright sides of any situation and rejoice in the opportunity I’ve been presented with.
So if you’re on this journey (or know someone that is) and it’s hard to see beyond the pain, I want to share some of the serendipitous benefits I’ve been able to identify about this path.
The Serendipitous Blessings Of Infertility
Catch up on My Fertility Journey for related posts.
1| Time (& Energy) to invest into your relationship
Years ago, I read an article claiming that the years before and after kids are a couples best years.
Despite the fact that I don’t know how true this is (especially because I can’t seem to find that article or corresponding research anywhere), this has always stuck with me.
One thing we can say for sure is that children tend to make a relationship more complicated.
Between the diminishing free time and the energy demand, it is common knowledge that it takes a lot more effort stay connected with your partner and prioritize the growth of your relationship.
Our (extended) path to parenthood have given hubby and I the opportunity to focus on our marriage.
As you know, his job is already extremely demanding. So, this period of time as a blessing has allowed us to get to know and learn each other. We’ve been blessed with the opportunity to create personal memories that we may not have the opportunity to, once we have children.
I figure the stronger our bond before children, the better the foundation on which to introduce kids right?
I sure think so.
2| Self Growth / Character Growth
There’s this bible verse that says…
We … glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.Romans 5:3-4 (NIV)
AKA- what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!
I can personally vouch for the fact that while this season of TTC, pregnancy loss and infertility have shown me some of the lowest lows in life, it has also taught me some of the biggest lessons.
It has taught me the essence of hope.
It has taught me what it means to have your faith tested, lose sight of God and follow him regardless.
It has taught me the importance of community and transparency and how easy (and damaging) it is to isolate.
It’s taught me how to seek and nurture positivity and how to bounce back after emotionally draining times.
At times, I sit back and think about how different of a person I’ve become through this person. Yes, I’m scarred and bruised but I’m also stronger and more resilient.
3| Time for financial preparation
Simply put- less people in the family, less expenses. (Is that harsh? I hope not).
This season in our life has given us the opportunity to focus on saving and to be strategic about our financial goals.
It has even given us time to build up a little financial cushion for when a baby comes.
4| Guilt-free focus on our careers and hobbies
Simply put, you get to be much more selfish with your time!
This week, I was talking to one of my coworkers about how bad she felt for missing work due to taking time off to care for a sick child.
Mom guilt is REAL and well known. I know enough wonderful mothers to know that motherhood comes with this itch of never feeling like you’re doing enough in multiple areas of your life. So during this period of trying to conceive, I am thankful for the opportunity that I (and the husbae) have to focus on growing our careers and indulging our hobbies, relatively guilt free.
Of course, none of these replace our desire for a child but we do recognize the opportunity we have to do so at this point in our lives and would be foolish not to acknowledge and make the most use of it.
5| The glorious display of God’s timing
One of the quotes that encourage me every time I’m in the pits about trying to conceive is…
I believe that God has a plan that we may never understand and that his timing is better than mine.
Think about it- for every influential person in this world, they had to be born when they were born to meet the specific people and have just the right opportunities for them to have the influence they did.
And that also applies to my future children.
As I pray for their futures and their destinies, I have to acknowledge that their maximum impact and influence in this world is specifically timed and designed by God.
So for their benefit, I have to appreciate God’s timing and will.
NO– I don’t all of sudden love my struggles to conceive.
I’d be lying if I said that.
But what I am encouraged by is that even in this difficult season, there are reasons.
There is fruit being produced even from this seemingly unfruitful season of life.
And for that, I’m grateful.
What about you?
What are some of the serendipitous “benefits” you’ve encountered on this TTC journey of yours?