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Gary Chapman’s book talks about 5 Love Languages but dare I say that there is a sixth? At least in my house and that’s food. As much as my hubby won’t admit it, he has a love-love relationship with food and some of the most romantic gestures that I can do to make him feel loved have to do with food.
I know he’s not the only one like this so I asked him to help me come up with a list of the food-related things that I do that he absolutely loves:
1. Giving Him MY Food To Eat
His first answer made me laugh so hard. He literally said that he loves it when I’m about to eat something that I know that he likes and then I give it to him. L-O-L! I just think that is soo funny because it shows you guys exactly what I’m talking about with him.
At the end of the day, he deeply appreciates the moments when I sacrifice my temporary enjoyment for his. It may sound a little silly but let’s be real, we all like that. Love is putting someone else’s interests before yours and for us, that interest just happens to be a waffle sometimes.
2. Prioritizing His Food Preferences & Intolerances
To know my hubby is to know that he has more food intolerances than most people. Some foods cause him migraines and some are just terrible to his stomach.
Now that I’m used to all the things he can’t eat, I find it really easy to navigate. Because we have spent the time to find substitutions for all the things he can’t eat, he finds it comforting that he can safely eat at home without worrying about dangerous ingredients.
When we go out to eat and he’s concerned about being an inconvenience, I speak up to let others know about his intolerances. Sometimes, he forgets to double check how certain dishes are prepared and I chime in and ask for him.
It is reassuring for him to know that someone is in his corner looking out for his health and well-being.
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3. Going WAYYY Out Of My Way To Get Food He Loves
Right now, we live in a Midwestern town where we don’t have access to most of our cultural foods. We BOTH miss eating Nigerian foods like yam and plantain. Well, last year I went to Houston to visit family and while I was there, I bought a large duffel bag and filled it with cultural foods (some I had to freeze overnight to make them travel-friendly).
When I got home with those foods, he was sooo excited and it completely made the hassle worth it.
Going out of the way to get food the hubby likes isn’t always that extravagant though. Most of the time, it’s simply driving all the way across town to pick up his favorite order from that one restaurant that he loves. Other times, it is staying up much later than I have energy for to make something complicated that I know that he likes.
4. Bringing Him Food From My Travels
When I go on a trip by myself, I try to bring him a trip-related food (for example macarons from my trip to Paris) so that he can share the experience. Who doesn’t love a yummy gift anyways? It shows your partner that you were thinking about them even when they weren’t there.
5. Letting Him Choose What I Cook
I’m not always great at this one because I’m going to be real, sometimes I just want to cook what I have energy for. However, my husband has said he feels extra catered to when I ask his opinion about dinner.
Now, if you are the primary cook in your household or work or take care of children, you probably understand that it’s not ideal to take a survey of meal choices EVERY time you want to cook something.
So how I’ve learned to cope with this is to come up with 2-3 options that I know I can reasonably prepare at the moment. So, instead of asking “what do you want to eat,” I ask “would you like x, y or z?”
That way, he gets to exercise his choice, but at the same time he’s not driving me crazy by asking for some unrealistic exotic dish.
Trust me when I say this little change makes a big difference!
To be completely serious, the reason that he loves these food-related “romantic gestures” is because they are all “ACTS OF SERVICE” (which is his actual Love Language). When we go out of our way to do something that the other likes, its an investment into our marriage and into our own happiness