Infertility sucks….but especially on Mother’s Day.
In my mind, if one of the national holidays were to go rogue, stalk and kidnap you, then strap you to a chair, torture you for national secrets and put out a ransom for your return, Mother’s Day would be that holiday for those going through infertility and/or pregnancy loss.
You’re probably thinking sheesh she’s dramatic.
Yes I can be, but as someone approaching her third Mother’s Day after 5+ pregnancy losses, allow me to be dramatic.
Mothers Day & Infertility just don’t go together.
Every year, when May comes and the Mother’s Day promotions and excitement start to rise, I get this feeling of dread.
Every year more than the last.
After months / years of trying to get pregnant (unsuccessfully) or getting pregnant and then losing those babies, Mother’s Day is like the world going “nah nah nah nah boo boo….you’re an outsider“.
You don’t have the one thing that you’ve been thinking about and trying to achieve every waking moment.
The day of, I always feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. Like people are looking at me and wondering where my children are. Or I feel like I’m being left out.
Do you feel like that too?
Well, over time, I’ve developed the following thoughts and learned to pull them to the forefront of my mind when I am really struggling and in need of comfort.
To Get You Through
Mother’s Day & Infertility
1. you don’t deserve this and its not your fault
In fact, with all you’ve gone through, what you deserve is awe and appreciation for your dedication to becoming a mother.
For the time you’ve spent researching treatments, finding ways to improve your fertility, going to doctors appointments.
For the months after months of negative pregnancy tests that you’ve had to find the strength to move on from.
For the grief and trauma that you’ve taken on and fight through every day.
For the physical torture to your body- pricking yourself to all the lab tests to the crazy hormonal fertility treatments.
For the financial investment!!
If becoming a mother was about deserving it, you’ve paid the price and you’d already be one.
But, that’s not the case, and it’s not your fault.
2. most women that stay persistent end up having their child one day
One of my friends that is also struggling with infertility said something to me this week that I love.
She said that she encourages herself by remembering that the high majority of women that stay persistent about having a child end up having one, someway somehow.
According to fertilitysmarts.com, “nearly 90% of infertility cases are treatable with medical therapies”.
This always encourages me to see that my time will come. And your time will come as well.
If you decide to keep trying, you WILL have your mother’s day some day.
3. you are strong.
make it through those 24 hours in any healthy way possible.
If you need me that day, I’ll be avoiding my phone.
Doing a little extra sleeping, a little extra Netflixing, a little extra working, a little extra anything really.
What I’ve learned during this crazy fertility journey is that some days, you just need to hold down the fort and make it through 24 hours.
Grit your teeth and get through each hour by the hour.
We are strong enough to have come this far so I just know that we’re strong enough to make it through the day.
You can do it.
4. there is still so much to celebrate
In the grand scheme of things, don’t neglect to honor those in your life that are deserving on this day.
Your mother, mother in law, sister(s), friends, etc.
I believe in rejoicing with those that rejoice.
I believe in celebrating with others so that in your time of celebration, others are there to clap and dance on your behalf.
I believe in NOT comparing your life journey with others and understanding that their achievements don’t take away from yours.
So when Mothers Day comes around, try to see the beauty of it and appreciate it for what it signifies.
I encourage you to hold on to HOPE this Mother’s Day and know that-
“This Too Shall Pass“
For some help in doing so, check out….
You can also get one of my fertility affirmations here and frame it, to remind yourself that your baby gets closer with each passing day.
You can use these fertility affirmations to speak life into yourself and your womb.
Finally, if you’re feeling emotionally drained, read Emotionally Drained: How I Bounced Back From Extreme Discouragement.
& don’t forget to become part of the fam by subscribing!!