200 Questions to Ask Your Spouse to Spark Deep, Meaningful Conversations

These (printable) questions to ask your spouse will make date nights, dinners & road trips engaging and intimate again.

When we were dating, my husband and I had the easiest and yet most interesting conversations ever.

In fact, one of the reasons I knew he was ‘the one’ was because of how comfortable I felt telling him specific things that I’d never told anyone!

Fast forward to married life and our date nights have slowly but surely turned into logistics meetings!

“What do we have on the docket for next week?”
“Did you make the appointment we talked about?”
“When should we book that flight?”
“Have you talked to so-and-so?“

It feels like we are constantly talking, but we’re not actually digging deep or learning anything new about each other.

As someone whose love language is words of affirmation, those stale conversations do nothing to fan the flames of romance, let me tell ya.

I can totally see how people end up with a dry and clinical-feeling marriage after being together for years and I am determined for that not to be our story.

That being said, I’ve been meaning to create a list of deep, interesting and silly questions that we can ask each other whenever we are feeling stuck. And I have finally made that project a reality.

So, keep reading for literally hundreds of questions I’ve come up with to reconnect with your spouse!

200 Questions to Ask Your Spouse to Get to Know Them Better

I’m not going to lie. A part of me is a little embarrassed that we even need a list of engaging questions to ask each other. Then, I remember that no one ever said marriage would be effort-free!

Besides, it’s not that we don’t know how to speak to each other. We do it every day! It’s just important for us to ask the types of questions that will help us grow with each other and not away from each other.

The questions below are grouped into 8 categories so that you can easily select discussion points that fit the mood or stage that you are both in:

• Interesting Questions for Your Spouse
• Romantic & Intimate Questions
• Fun Questions
• Questions to Ask About Your Relationship
• Questions to See How Much They Know You
• Questions to Improve/Save Your Marriage
• Biblical Questions
• Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Be prepared for deep, weird, or even hard questions that will make date nights and road trips fun and enlightening again.

pssst!! I've turned these questions into a free printable. 
Grab your copy at the end 🙂 

Interesting Questions to Ask Your Wife or Husband

1. What makes you laugh the hardest?
2. On what three topics can you speak for 30 minutes about, without any preparation?
3. What is one thing no one knows about you?
4. Did you fit in as a child? Why or why not?
5. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
6. Show me your scars and tell me how you got them.
7. What is your favorite month of the year?
8. What traits do we have that are similar?
9. What traits do we have that are different?
10. Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
11. What has been your biggest struggle in life?
12. What is your proudest accomplishment ever?
13. What song has had the most significant impact on your life and why?
14. Do you prefer living alone or sharing your home with someone else?
15. Who or what inspires you to wake up every day and keep going in life?
16. Where do you draw your self-worth from?
17. What is your mantra in life?
18. How do you want to be remembered when you die?
19. Which of your parents are you most like?
20. What is the best life advice that you have ever received?
21. When do you feel the most loved?
22. What is the very first memory that you remember?
23. If you could change anything about your childhood, what would it be?
24. If you could gain one quality or ability, what would it be?
25. What is one thing that you are really not good at?
26. What irrational fears do you have?
27. What is the single most boring thing that you can think of doing?
28. If you could be anyone else, who would you be?
29. Describe your ideal retirement.
30. When was the last time you were happy?

Romantic & Intimate Questions for Your Husband

31. What qualities do I have that make you love me?
32. Is our intimate (physical) relationship okay for you?
33. What is your favorite sexual position?
34. Ideally, how often would you want for us to be intimate?
35. What new things do you want to try in the bedroom?
36. What old things do you want more of?
37. Do you have any fantasies that you wish we could play out?
38. If you could have sex anywhere outside the bedroom, where would you choose?
39. How can I be a better partner to you?
40. How do you describe me to other people?
41. Which types of clothes do you find me sexy in?
42. What is your favorite outfit in my closet?
43. What turns you on the most?
44. Name your top three favorite body parts.
45. On what part of your body do you like to be caressed the most?
46. What parts of your body do you hate to be caressed?
47. What is something that you would love for us to do more of together?
48. Which ways would you like for us to spend more time together?
49. Would you marry me over again?

Fun Questions to Ask Your Spouse on Date Night

50. If the house caught on fire (and all of your loved ones and pets are guaranteed safe), what one other thing would you run in to get?
51. If you won a million dollars today, what would your first day as a millionaire be like?
52. It’s a zombie apocalypse- what 5 people (that we know) would you select to survive the apocalypse and why?
53. What’s on your bucket list?
54. What is the nicest compliment you have ever received?
55. Which is your all-time favorite board game?
56. What is your favorite childhood memory?
57. Who was your first crush and what happened with them?
58. If you could change three things about how you look, what would you change?
59. If you had a boat, what would you name it?
60. If you were elected, what kind of President would you be?
61. If you could resurrect anyone dead, who would it be?
62. What are your favorite spots for date nights?
63. What kind of music do you listen to when you are alone?
64. What’s your favorite type of gift to receive?
65. Who is the most well dressed person that you know?
66. If you could pick one day to relive for the rest of your life, what day would it be?
67. If you could pick one meal to eat for the rest of your life, what meal would it be?
68. Which scents do you find the most comforting?
69. If you lived to 100 and had the option to keep either your 30 year old mind or your 30 year old body, which one would you choose?
70. If you were stuck on a desert island and could pick one person to be there with you (besides me), who would it be?
71. Show me your favorite picture of us.
72. Describe your next (or first) tattoo. What would it look like and where would you put it?
73. Would you trust me to fill in for you at work? What would happen if I did?

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Your Relationship  

74. What is the best thing about our relationship?
75. What is the worst thing about our relationship?
76. What do I do that helps you the most?
77. Who would you say has the best/ideal marriage and why?
78. What was your first impression of me?
79. What is your favorite memory of us while we were still dating?
80. How have I changed from when we were dating?
81. What goal would you like us to accomplish in our marriage this year?
82. Describe our relationship in 10 years.
83. What would you consider our top 3 strengths?
84. What achievement in our marriage would give you great pleasure?
85. What is your favorite thing about being married?
86. What makes you insecure about our relationship?
87. What do you feel needs the most work in our relationship?
88. At what point in time did you feel our marriage was the shakiest/weakest?
89. What’s the happiest you have ever felt?
90. When do you feel the most lonely in this relationship?
91. When did you realize that you could count on me?
92. How can I help make our lives better together?
93. What’s one thing you used to believe about marriage but no longer do?
94. What made you want to marry me?
95. What is one thing that you couldn’t have done without me?
96. What specific traits of mine would you want our future children to have?
97. What traits of yours would you prefer our future children to have?
98. Are there any things that bother you about me? What are they?
99. In what ways can I make you feel safe?
100. What is something that we used to do that you miss?
101. Have you been happier since we got married?
102. What do you like about our life together?
     

Entertaining Questions to Ask Your Spouse About Yourself (See How Well They Know You!)

103. What’s my favorite book to read?
104. What 3 apps do I open the most?
105. What’s my biggest fear?
106. What’s my favorite TV show?
107. What’s the first thing I would buy if I won the lottery?
108. Who is my favorite superhero?
109. Am I a dog person or a cat person?
110. What is my favorite pastime activity?
111. What are my career goals?
112. Which household chores do I hate the most?
113. What do you see when you look at me?
114. What physical feature am I most self conscious about?
115. What is the guilty pleasure that I would never admit out loud?
116. How do I “treat” myself?
117. If I could go anywhere in the world, where would I go?
118. Who is my favorite person (besides you, of course)?
119. What would my dream home look like?
120. What could I eat every day for the rest of my life?
121. Who was my celebrity crush when I was younger?
122. If I could turn into any animal, what would I choose?
123. Which of my siblings am I most like?
124. If I could teach a class on something (without preparation), what would it be on?
125. What is my most annoying trait?
126. What possession of yours would I toss if I got the chance?

Questions to Ask Your Partner to Improve (or Even Save) Your Marriage

127. Am I being the best spouse to you?
128. What areas of marriage can I improve on?
129. What qualities make us a great team?
130. What is the one thing that I do for you that you love?
131. What’s one thing that I do that annoys you?
132. What are some things we used to do together that you would like us to be doing again?
133. What about our life together makes you happy?
134. What challenges do you think we are having?
135. How can we improve our communication skills?
136. How did we get here?
137. How have I played a role in us being in this phase?
138. How have we as individuals changed?
139. How have those changes affected our marriage?
140. How can we realign our ideas of marriage?
141. Do you still want this marriage? Why or Why not?
142. How can I show you that I am fighting for our marriage?
143. What options are there for us to be happy again together?
144. What is your greatest fear?
145. Describe one moment when you felt proud of me.
146. What is our most treasured memory?
147. What is our worst memory?
148. If you were to die today, what would you have wanted to tell me?
149. If you knew that you would die in a year’s time, what about your lifestyle would you change?
150. What is your love language?
151. Has your love language changed over the years? If so, how and why did it change?
152. What do you value most in a friendship?
153. If you could see the future, what would you like to know?
154. Is there something that you have always dreamt of doing? Why haven’t you done it?
155. How can we have more fun together?
156. What one question have you always wanted to ask me?
157. What’s one problem/challenge that you are currently facing that I don’t know about? 
158. What would be your advice to a younger couple?

Biblical Questions to Ask Your Spouse

159. How can I pray for you today?
160. What quality of Christ do you wish I had as a spouse?
161. What purpose do you think that God wants us to fulfill through our marriage?
162. Who are our role models for love and leadership?
163. In what ways can we prioritize our marriage and family better?
164. Do I have realistic expectations of you?
165. Have I helped you to grow spiritually? In what ways?
166. What can we do as a couple to help us grow closer to God?
167. What has been the biggest distraction from our spiritual walk?
168. What’s your favorite bible verse and why?
169. What do you think is your spiritual gift?
170. What do you think is my spiritual gift?
171. What temptations do you struggle with the most?
172. What grudges do you need to work towards forgiving?
173. How have our friendships positively affected our relationship?
174. How have our friendships negatively affected our relationship?
175. Who is your favorite character in the Bible?
176. If you could jump into any Bible story and live it for yourself, which one would it be?
177. What do you feel most grateful for in life?

Questions to Ask Your Spouse (Before Marriage)

178. What did you learn about marriage from your parents?
179. What would you like for us to discuss but have been hesitant to bring up?
180. Do you believe in love at first sight?
181. Describe your ideal type of friend.
182. What excites you the most about our future?
183. What would you say that you are known for?
184. What is one compliment that you have constantly received throughout life?
185. What was your role within your family growing up? And what is it now?
186. What was your favorite tradition as a child?
187. What was your least favorite family tradition?
188. What family traditions are you hoping to start with your own family?
189. Describe your ideal date night.
190. What is your favorite personality trait of mine?
191. If money wasn’t in the equation, what career would you pursue?
192. Which aspiration of yours can I help you achieve?
193. What’s a hobby that you would like to try?
194. What types of situations do you find the most stressful?
195. What is the worst decision you have ever made?
196. What number in the bank account makes you start to panic?
197. What makes a great parent?
198. What topics are hard for you to talk about?
199. If you could be a prodigy at one thing, what would you want it to be?
200. What one conversation changed the way you think?

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How to Use These Questions to Spark Conversation with Your Spouse 

Avoid Topics That Have Led to Arguments in the Past

When the purpose is to laugh together and increase the fun in your relationship, you may want to avoid sensitive topics that always seem to lead to arguments. Focus on sweet questions for your partner to answer instead.

You can also prevent arguments by resisting the natural impulse to become defensive when your partner answers a question in a way you don’t like.

Make It Fun

You don’t have to ask these questions interview style. Some ideas to make this more fun are:

• Write the questions on pieces of paper (or cut them out from the printable below), put them in a jar and take turns drawing from the jar for an impromptu ‘questions to ask your spouse’ game.
• Buy this truth or dare for couples and take turns picking between answering questions or completing a naughty challenge.
• Turn the questions into a “this or that game”.
  Those are super fun and light! Basically, you choose two closely related options and ask your partner to pick between the two. For example, you can ask “Would you rather I be a great but messy cook? Or a terrible but neat cook?”

Eliminate Distractions

No cell phones, no “multi-tasking”, no side conversations.

To get the best of these questions, you want to show your spouse that you are engaged and interested in their answers. You want to do this by looking at them, avoiding conflicting activities and asking follow up questions.

Keep an Open Mind

Warning: these questions may not be answered in the way that you expected.
Keep an open mind and be as open and tolerant as possible to what your partner says. This will keep the atmosphere welcoming for ongoing conversation.

One way to do this is to remain truly curious about what your partner thinks instead of hoping that they answer a specific way.

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Free Printable List of Questions to Ask Your Spouse!

I’ve turned these questions into a free printable to make them accessible for date night dinners, walks, staycations and long drives. Each section has its own page so that you can have the right questions for every occasion.

I hope that these questions bring you both as much fun and intimacy as it has already brought us so far!

// These printables are for personal & non-commercial use only. Not authorized for resale or retail use //

CLICK HERE (or the image below) to download the free printable list.

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